Tiki Warfare

OK - I have to admit I laughed aloud watching the Tiki Torch Warriors the other night.  It was such an epic fail that humor was the only salve I could find.  

Hint: If you ever find yourself in a physical fight and your primary weapon is a tiki torch here are your best options:  First, set the other dude on fire.  Failing that, drop your torch and find a real weapon or close the gap and go to work.  Or run.  But you just look like a thoroughbred 'tard from somewhere in Panhandle, Texas trying to fight while swinging a tiki torch like a baseball bat, as strands of bamboo streak through the air like a rhythmic gymnast's ribbon.

I have begged and pleaded for years for Patriots to go to a serious dojo and train.  This embarrassment at UVA is what happens when Patriots fail to train.

Rules for fighting with a staff weapon - be it a jo, bo, quarterstaff, dowel rod, rebar or broomstick - poke to do damage.  Never swing it like a baseball bat.  Use angled defenses to deflect and re-direct an enemy attack, then poke to counter-attack.

Never block an incoming attack at a 90 degree angle - even with a sword.  ALWAYS defend obliquely.  Angle your weapon so that the force of the attack is shunted away or past you.

Then counter attack.  

When you thrust with your staff weapon, be sure to snap your wrist 90 degrees as the tip of your weapon impacts the target - much like a bowler twists his wrist when releasing the ball.  
You are welcome.

Now, go find a dojo...